We get stuck with forgiving when looking for logical reasons to forgive. We often say “I can’t forgive” or “I don’t know how to forgive” because we are looking for a good reason to forgive. The problem is you may never find a “good” reason.
Forgiveness challenges us to be compassionate, to offer kindness to someone who seemingly doesn’t deserve it. We may think, “Why should I be nice to the person who has hurt me?” This is the logical mind at work, and this logical mind isn’t going to forgive.
Is it logical that Jesus asked the Lord to forgive the people that were killing him? Ordinary people would pray that those killing them suffer for their actions. That’s because ordinary people are conditioned to “fight fire with fire.”
But if you are practicing spiritual life, you are supposed to fight fire with water. You fight” abuse with kindness; hurt with compassion; hatred with love.
Compassion for the person who hurt you is a powerful way to overcome resentment. I know this can be difficult to do. Yet when we tell ourselves this is too difficult, we are also telling ourselves , “I can’t forgive.”
I have personally found that not forgiving is more difficult than forgiving. This is because resentment is a huge and painful burden to carry.
We like to think of ourselves as spiritual people, yet we need to acknowledge how non-spiritual our actions often are. If we want to hurt someone who harmed us, that’s not spiritual. If we cannot respond to mistreatment with understanding and tolerance, that is not spiritual.
Forgiveness is an act of the heart. It happens automatically when you relinquish the need and desire to punish another person. Forgiveness challenges you to come to a higher level of consciousness.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
Compassion is the Cure for Resenment
A devotee of the Lord does not want to see another person suffer. He feels he has no right to judge or inflict pain on anyone. When this humility mixes with compassion, forgiveness arises.
Humility, forgiveness and compassion are inherent within bhakti. When we come to a higher stage of spiritual awareness, forgiveness will be an automatic and natural response to hurt and abuse.
When we look for justification for our resentment, it is helpful to look at how willing we are to get back at another. When we judge another it says more about us and our need to judge than it does about the person we are judging. Similarly, our need for revenge says more about us and our need to get back for what was done to us than it says about what the person did to us.
This understanding can help us reflect upon our current level of spiritual consciousness. We should not only evaluate our spiritual standing by external criteria, i.e. how well or how often we perform specific practices, but we must also look at our attitudes and our responses to challenges to better understand how we are progressing spiritually.
Humility, forgiveness and compassion are inherent within bhakti. When we come to a higher stage of spiritual awareness, forgiveness will be an automatic and natural response to hurt and abuse.
When we look for justification for our resentment, it is helpful to look at how willing we are to get back at another. When we judge another it says more about us and our need to judge than it does about the person we are judging. Similarly, our need for revenge says more about us and our need to get back for what was done to us than it says about what the person did to us.
This understanding can help us reflect upon our current level of spiritual consciousness. We should not only evaluate our spiritual standing by external criteria, i.e. how well or how often we perform specific practices, but we must also look at our attitudes and our responses to challenges to better understand how we are progressing spiritually.
Compassion Cures Resentment
A devotee of the Lord does not want to see another person suffer. He feels he has no right to judge or inflict pain on anyone. When this humility mixes with compassion, feeling for the suffering of others, forgiveness arises.
In the tradition of bhakti (devotion), humility, forgiveness and compassion are inherent within bhakti. This means that wherever bhakti fully mamifests there must be humility, forgiveness and compassion.
When we look for justification for our resentment, it is helpful to look at how willing we are to get back at another. When we judge another it says more about us and our need to judge than it does about the person we are judging. Similarly, our need for revenge says more about us and our need to get back for what was done to us than it says about what the person did to us.
When we come to a higher stage of spiritual awareness, forgiveness will be an automatic and natural response to hurt and abuse.
This understanding can help us reflect upon our current level of spiritual consciousness. We should not only evaluate our spiritual standing by external criteria, i.e. how well or how often we perform specific practices, but we must also look at our attitudes, and our responses to challenges, to better understand how we are progressing spiritually.
In the tradition of bhakti (devotion), humility, forgiveness and compassion are inherent within bhakti. This means that wherever bhakti fully mamifests there must be humility, forgiveness and compassion.
When we look for justification for our resentment, it is helpful to look at how willing we are to get back at another. When we judge another it says more about us and our need to judge than it does about the person we are judging. Similarly, our need for revenge says more about us and our need to get back for what was done to us than it says about what the person did to us.
When we come to a higher stage of spiritual awareness, forgiveness will be an automatic and natural response to hurt and abuse.
This understanding can help us reflect upon our current level of spiritual consciousness. We should not only evaluate our spiritual standing by external criteria, i.e. how well or how often we perform specific practices, but we must also look at our attitudes, and our responses to challenges, to better understand how we are progressing spiritually.
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