A baby lion was raised by a family of sheep. When he grew older they sent him away because he was different. A man found him lamenting because he was faced with a life alone. The man asked why are you so depressed and the lion told him of his plight. The man said you are not a sheep, you are a lion. When the lion finally realized who he was, he became happy. As long as he thought he was a weird kind of sheep, he remained unhappy.
So he had the wrong story about who he was. Similarly, many of us have stories about who we are or what happened to us. It's not really what happens to us that upsets us, but it's the story we tell ourselves about what happened to us that upsets us. If we change the story, then we can go from resentment to forgiveness. So what actually happened to you that is causing you to remain resentful. What story are you telling yourself?
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
The Need for Forgiveness in the World
The more I do the workshops, the more I see how needed and beneficial forgiveness is for ourselves, for relationships, for minimizing conflict at home and in the workplace, and for dealing with all the bigotry, hatred and prejudice in the world. Ours is a culture of “If I am wronged, I get back.” Most people’s accounts of all the injustices and hurts that were done to them is overflowing and they use these accounts to justify blame and anger. They build up these accounts and carefully save them. Anytime someone performs some horrible act, you can know for sure their victim account is overflowing.
Our culture loves retaliation. Movies are full of it. The hero is wronged and the whole movie is about him taking “justifiable” revenge. So our kids grow up thinking, “If someone hurts me, I must take revenge.Forgiveness is a sign of weakness."
People guard their victimhood. It is a story upon which they can justify their failures. If they lose that story, how can they justify their blame and anger? Anger makes them feel powerful. Ask them to forgive and they fear they will lose their power. But all anger and blame does is hide their pain, pain they don’t want to face. Forgiveness is the only door out of the prison of this pain.
Because forgiveness is so much needed in our world, and because practicing forgiveness brings people to a higher level of God consciousness, my intention is to expand forgiveness workshops around the world.
If you know anyone who might be interested in organizing a workshop please direct them to the site www.yogaofforgiveness.com. Or consider contacting someone at your school, office, community center, yoga studio, temple, church, etc. to discuss the benefit of having such a workshop.
Our culture loves retaliation. Movies are full of it. The hero is wronged and the whole movie is about him taking “justifiable” revenge. So our kids grow up thinking, “If someone hurts me, I must take revenge.Forgiveness is a sign of weakness."
People guard their victimhood. It is a story upon which they can justify their failures. If they lose that story, how can they justify their blame and anger? Anger makes them feel powerful. Ask them to forgive and they fear they will lose their power. But all anger and blame does is hide their pain, pain they don’t want to face. Forgiveness is the only door out of the prison of this pain.
Because forgiveness is so much needed in our world, and because practicing forgiveness brings people to a higher level of God consciousness, my intention is to expand forgiveness workshops around the world.
If you know anyone who might be interested in organizing a workshop please direct them to the site www.yogaofforgiveness.com. Or consider contacting someone at your school, office, community center, yoga studio, temple, church, etc. to discuss the benefit of having such a workshop.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Forgiveness and the Heart
In my forgiveness seminars, one thing consistently stands out: when a person's heart opens, they forgive. When the heart is softened one does not want to cause pain to another. Since resentment is about getting back at someone for the wrongs they have done, a softened heart is the antidote to resentment.
Through pranayama, chanting, prayer, and heart opening yoga, participants in my seminars can more easily let go of the need to be right, the need to punish, the need to keep a record of the wrongs, and the need to cling to their story. This happens through the power of the intelligence of the heart, an intelligence that knows what is right.
Through pranayama, chanting, prayer, and heart opening yoga, participants in my seminars can more easily let go of the need to be right, the need to punish, the need to keep a record of the wrongs, and the need to cling to their story. This happens through the power of the intelligence of the heart, an intelligence that knows what is right.
Forgiveness is Illogical
Many people tell me they are trying to forgive but can't. This often means they are looking for logical reasons to forgive. Forgiveness is often illogical and unnatural because you are confronted with forgiving an unforgiveable act.
Forgiveness happens when you elevate your consciousness above hate, anger, resentment and blame. If you remain on these lower levels of consciousness and try to forgive, you are fighting fire with fire.
Compassion is the anti-toxin of the soul. It is through compassion that you raise your consciousness above resentment.
WWW.yogaofforgiveness.com
Forgiveness happens when you elevate your consciousness above hate, anger, resentment and blame. If you remain on these lower levels of consciousness and try to forgive, you are fighting fire with fire.
Compassion is the anti-toxin of the soul. It is through compassion that you raise your consciousness above resentment.
WWW.yogaofforgiveness.com
Thursday, October 29, 2009
No One To Blame
Is it not hypocrisy to honor Lord Krsna, Lord Buddha, Lord Jesus or other great spiritual teachers for bringing us the gift of understanding that life is suffering, or to honor God for teaching us lessons through suffering, and then blame our “offender” who brings us the same gift as a life lesson? Is one a better teacher than the other? Should I worship one and blame the other? Is it possible that all things work to help us grow? Is it possible there is really no one to blame and no one to forgive?
Stories of Forgiveness 4
I found this amazing story and wanted to share it with you.
On March 23, 1995, my 17-year-old daughter, Nicole, opened the door of her father's house to a 16-year-old young man named LeVaughn whom she knew. LeVaughn came into the house and they began to argue over drugs.
LeVaughn picked up the butcher knife from the kitchen counter and stabbed Nicole to death. My only child lay dying on the floor of the living room, her eyes still open. The last sight she saw that day was the face of the young man who was killing her. This young man whom I had never met in my life, came into my life that day and changed my life forever.
I waited one year to be faced with the young man who had changed my life forever. He was hostile and angry during the trial. My greatest fear was that he would get the death penalty and that I would then have to fight to never allow that to happen. But God knew that wasn't how He wanted me to spend my time. LeVaughn was found guilty of second-degree murder and sentenced to thirty-eight years with no probation.
God had other plans for my life. LeVaughn still looked angry when he was sentenced two weeks later. Only now, he was sitting right next to me as I stood at the podium to address the court and the judge, but I was warned not to address LeVaughn. I was told I couldn't speak to this person who had changed my life forever, and he was sitting right next to me.
I began reading what I had written and then God spoke to my heart. I needed to talk to this young man. It might be my only opportunity. I turned and looked into his face. This was the face that my daughter saw as she lay dying on the living room floor just one year ago, and now I was looking into that same face. I told LeVaughn that I was not angry with him, but that I felt very hurt. I told him that I had compassion for him and that I hoped that he could somehow find a way to turn his life around.
And lastly, I told him that I would be praying for him. The face that was so full of anger was now looking at me in disbelief, and the anger was gone.
When I walked away from the courthouse that day, I knew that God had given both of us a gift. It was the gift of forgiveness. I was able to forgive the young man who murdered my daughter. Not because he asked me too, but because it was what God wanted for both of us. God was never going to be able to use me if I was angry. Forgiveness brings peace. And with that peace comes overwhelming joy. The joy of knowing that God will forgive me just as I have forgiven.
On March 23, 1995, my 17-year-old daughter, Nicole, opened the door of her father's house to a 16-year-old young man named LeVaughn whom she knew. LeVaughn came into the house and they began to argue over drugs.
LeVaughn picked up the butcher knife from the kitchen counter and stabbed Nicole to death. My only child lay dying on the floor of the living room, her eyes still open. The last sight she saw that day was the face of the young man who was killing her. This young man whom I had never met in my life, came into my life that day and changed my life forever.
I waited one year to be faced with the young man who had changed my life forever. He was hostile and angry during the trial. My greatest fear was that he would get the death penalty and that I would then have to fight to never allow that to happen. But God knew that wasn't how He wanted me to spend my time. LeVaughn was found guilty of second-degree murder and sentenced to thirty-eight years with no probation.
God had other plans for my life. LeVaughn still looked angry when he was sentenced two weeks later. Only now, he was sitting right next to me as I stood at the podium to address the court and the judge, but I was warned not to address LeVaughn. I was told I couldn't speak to this person who had changed my life forever, and he was sitting right next to me.
I began reading what I had written and then God spoke to my heart. I needed to talk to this young man. It might be my only opportunity. I turned and looked into his face. This was the face that my daughter saw as she lay dying on the living room floor just one year ago, and now I was looking into that same face. I told LeVaughn that I was not angry with him, but that I felt very hurt. I told him that I had compassion for him and that I hoped that he could somehow find a way to turn his life around.
And lastly, I told him that I would be praying for him. The face that was so full of anger was now looking at me in disbelief, and the anger was gone.
When I walked away from the courthouse that day, I knew that God had given both of us a gift. It was the gift of forgiveness. I was able to forgive the young man who murdered my daughter. Not because he asked me too, but because it was what God wanted for both of us. God was never going to be able to use me if I was angry. Forgiveness brings peace. And with that peace comes overwhelming joy. The joy of knowing that God will forgive me just as I have forgiven.
Stories of Forgiveness 3
A Yogi (a renowned seeker of spirituality) was having a bath on the edge of a flooded river. Because of the flood one scorpion happened to float by him. Seeing that the scorpion might die, the Yogi picked him up in his hand to take him out of the water. But immediately the scorpion bit him with a piercing poisonous bite.
Unmindful of the bite, the Yogi again picked up the scorpion and again the scorpion bit his hand. This continued to happen again and again until a man who had been watching approached the Yogi to ask why he was trying to help the nasty scorpion.
The Yogi said, "This poor scorpion does not give up his nature to bite so why should I give up my nature to help him.
We should never come down to the level of those who wish to harm us.
www.yogaofforgiveness.com
Unmindful of the bite, the Yogi again picked up the scorpion and again the scorpion bit his hand. This continued to happen again and again until a man who had been watching approached the Yogi to ask why he was trying to help the nasty scorpion.
The Yogi said, "This poor scorpion does not give up his nature to bite so why should I give up my nature to help him.
We should never come down to the level of those who wish to harm us.
www.yogaofforgiveness.com
Stories of Forgiveness 2
A young man was once flirting with a girl in a bar. He began touching her and this so enraged the girl that she pulled out a knife. Moments later she had stabbed him to death.
She spent the rest of her life in jail miserably living with the guilt of having killing someone who had a whole life ahead of him. But there was one woman who somehow took compassion on this murderer. She regularly visited her in prison to help her deal with her grief and support her in any way she could.
That person who helped this girl was a most unlikely candidate for this job. It was the mother of the young man this girl stabbed to death.
www.yogaofforgiveness.com
She spent the rest of her life in jail miserably living with the guilt of having killing someone who had a whole life ahead of him. But there was one woman who somehow took compassion on this murderer. She regularly visited her in prison to help her deal with her grief and support her in any way she could.
That person who helped this girl was a most unlikely candidate for this job. It was the mother of the young man this girl stabbed to death.
www.yogaofforgiveness.com
Stories of Forgiveness 1
A six year old girl in New Orleans was the first black student to attend a mixed school after apartheid. The white people were so disturbed that a black girl was going to a school that was formerly all white, that she had to be escorted by Federal Marshals. The white students boycotted the school and there were mobs of people protesting and screaming at her everyday when she went to and left school.
And she would be saying something under her breathe as she walked in. When asked what she was saying, she said, “I am praying to God to forgive them.” When asked why she would do that, she said, “Don’t you think they need to be forgiven?”
And she would be saying something under her breathe as she walked in. When asked what she was saying, she said, “I am praying to God to forgive them.” When asked why she would do that, she said, “Don’t you think they need to be forgiven?”
What Forgiveness Is and Is Not
Forgiveness is:
• Giving up all hope for a better past
• Giving up the resentment to which you are entitled
• Returning unkind acts with kindness
• Taking responsibility for how you feel
• Healing your wounds
• A trainable skill that everyone can learn and practice
• Living in the present instead of being controlled by the past
• Taking back your power
• Becoming a hero instead of a victim
• A means to release negative energy that could be potentially
• damaging to your mental and physical health
• Your choice
• The virtue of the brave
• Giving kindness
• Showing mercy
• Walking in another’s shoes
• An act of love
• Understanding and accepting other people
• Breaking the emotional bond you have with your offender
• The attribute of the strong
• Setting oneself free
• Forgiving oneself
• Leading us to the super natural realm
Forgiveness is not:
• Forgetting that something painful happened
• Giving up your feelings
• Denying or minimizing your hurt
• Condoning unkindness
• Excusing poor behavior (making a wrong a right)
• Reconciling with the offender (although you may choose to do so)
• Telling the offender you have forgiven them
• Giving up all hope for a better past
• Giving up the resentment to which you are entitled
• Returning unkind acts with kindness
• Taking responsibility for how you feel
• Healing your wounds
• A trainable skill that everyone can learn and practice
• Living in the present instead of being controlled by the past
• Taking back your power
• Becoming a hero instead of a victim
• A means to release negative energy that could be potentially
• damaging to your mental and physical health
• Your choice
• The virtue of the brave
• Giving kindness
• Showing mercy
• Walking in another’s shoes
• An act of love
• Understanding and accepting other people
• Breaking the emotional bond you have with your offender
• The attribute of the strong
• Setting oneself free
• Forgiving oneself
• Leading us to the super natural realm
Forgiveness is not:
• Forgetting that something painful happened
• Giving up your feelings
• Denying or minimizing your hurt
• Condoning unkindness
• Excusing poor behavior (making a wrong a right)
• Reconciling with the offender (although you may choose to do so)
• Telling the offender you have forgiven them
Is There Anyone To Forgive?
Today a friend of mine wrote and asked me, "Isn't gratitude the best way to forgive?"
This is true if you are grateful that the person who hurt you is a messenger of your karma and is helping you learn valuable lessons for your spiritual purification and advancement. But that realization may not be possible for everyone, at least not immediately after one is offended and hurt.
Resentment is dealt with by most people by blaming the "offender." It is how they process their hurt. It is the way they numb their pain. Yet blame and retaliation never release the resentment, they only mask it for awhile while actually intensifying it. Forgiveness is the only way to overcome the pain.
If one is aware that whatever happens is willed by God for his or her ultimate benefit, and thus grateful for whatever comes to him or her, there will be no one to blame and no one to forgive.
This is true if you are grateful that the person who hurt you is a messenger of your karma and is helping you learn valuable lessons for your spiritual purification and advancement. But that realization may not be possible for everyone, at least not immediately after one is offended and hurt.
Resentment is dealt with by most people by blaming the "offender." It is how they process their hurt. It is the way they numb their pain. Yet blame and retaliation never release the resentment, they only mask it for awhile while actually intensifying it. Forgiveness is the only way to overcome the pain.
If one is aware that whatever happens is willed by God for his or her ultimate benefit, and thus grateful for whatever comes to him or her, there will be no one to blame and no one to forgive.
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